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C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
SUN & DRENCHED:
SUMMER STARTS
IN FEBRUARY AT THE MIAMI OPEN
February 27, 2006 – Months of anticipation came to fruition this weekend as the Hogan Circuit
(“The H.C.”) arrived in South
Beach for the 2006 Miami Open presented by The Clevelander Hotel. With
center court situated only steps away from busy and boisterous Ocean Drive
in the heart of the area’s day and nightlife, a picturesque stage was set for what would become the precursor to another
banner year on the sand.
The February 24-26 event kicked off on Friday when play began shortly after noon. With
temperatures peaking in the upper 70s and sun out-dueling clouds, play continued at a feverish pace. Award winners in 2005,
Gunnar Stapp and Greg Lamonica broke out to a fast start with two consecutive wins in the first round of Best-of-3 round-robin
match-ups. Cruise Director Darryl Nash then picked up two wins alongside Lamonica, before he and Gunnar Stapp notched two
consecutive victories, including an overtime thriller. Three of four competitors left the beach on Friday tied with 4-2 records,
but left out of the mix was Mark Stapp, whose red-eye flight apparently caught up with him. His 0-6 performance stunned fans
and nearly halted sales of his memoir, “Books and Beach Is Me,” which was on sale for 90% off cover price by Saturday
morning.
While Friday play consisted solely of two-game sweeps absent of exhilarating rubber matches,
Saturday was quite the opposite. Every contest reached its limits, extending to a third and decisive game, many of them into
overtime at 20-20. Mark Stapp wasted no time breaking into the winner’s circle, winning his first match of the day with
Greg Lamonica. The combinations of M.Stapp/Lamonica and G.Stapp/Nash provided some of the most hotly contested matches of
the weekend, and this round went the distance in three games with the latter pulling out a nail-biter in game three. Saturday
tallies tightened the race for King of South Beach, with Nash (8-4) barely grasping a lead over Lamonica and Gunnar Stapp
(7-5). Mark Stapp notched two wins for an early 2-10 showing. Ouch.
On Sunday, The Man They Call Chino made his presence felt for his HC cameo appearance.
After Lamonica/G.Stapp notched their third unanswered victory opposite Nash/M.Stapp, Chino
stepped onto the sand for his first action of 2006, replacing the now-departed Gunnar Stapp after a significant rain delay
that almost threatened the entire day’s HC schedule. The delay was the second torrential downpour of the weekend, but
the first to affect event play. With clouds still looming (some of them blacker than black) Nash/Lamonica took home a convincing
win versus M.Stapp/Chino before opening up a best-of-three finale on HC center court, with Nash/Chino facing off against M.Stapp/Lamonica.
The quality of play increased significantly over the course of three games, all close contests with some excellent rallies
and the heralded return of dirty filibustering. In the end, Nash/Chino notched the second of two wins in the series, a colorful
end on a cloudy day as the 2006 Miami Open came to a close.
Wins:
Nash, 11-6
Lamonica, 9-7
G. Stapp, 9-5
M. Stapp, 3-14
Yang, 2-2
C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
CLEVELANDER HOSTS THE HC
WITH SIGHTS AND SOUNDS
The 2006 Miami Open presented by the Clevelander Hotel
included some memorable social time within the host hotel, located in the heart of the South Beach strip and only five minutes from
HC center court. Thursday night’s host party featured an appearance by resident playboy Gunnar Stapp and Cruise Director
Darryl Nash, who were treated to complimentary beverages and mingled among the crowd surrounding the hotel’s centralized
outdoor pool area. Saturday afternoon at the Clevelander, HC personalities were among the guests of honor at the weekly Splash
competition, which featured eveningwear, lingerie, and bikini fashion in the pool area.
Although what may be most memorable about the Clevelander
were the earplugs, a priceless yet simple device that meant the difference between eyes open or shut in Room 511, the low-key
room. Meanwhile, in Room 309, the music assuredly extended well into the morning hours with no need for aural apparatus.
Guests (and bed staff) of the Clevelander also enjoyed
perusing HC propaganda posted throughout the 3rd and 5th floors.
C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
GUNNAR AHEAD OF HIS GAME
Saturday afternoon action at South Beach included one non-sanctioned game
involving Gunnar Stapp and Darryl Nash, who faced off against two solid locals endeavoring to reclaim their center court from
the HC. A tight match throughout, Stapp played perhaps his most fundamentally solid contest of the entire weekend, ripping
cross-court kills and posting a menacing block. Both benefited from consistent ball control and accurate serving in a match
that came down to the wire once again. This time, the locals prevailed 22-20, but not before breaking a sweat or two.
The Sportscenter highlight, though, came from Gunnar
Stapp’s non-textbook display of serve receipt. Receiving a fairly routine serve, Stapp closely followed the ball from
the server’s hand, across the net, directly in front of him. He waved his arms in some unconventional flailing manner
before the ball struck him flush on the side of the head, careening off across the beach as onlookers gawked in disbelief.
C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
SEVEN WOMEN TO HOSPITAL AFTER
WITNESSING LAMONICA’S PUBLIC SHOWER
Seven Miami
women were rushed to a local hospital Sunday after experiencing shortness of breath as 2005 HC MVP Greg Lamonica soaped and
rinsed along Ocean Drive at a public shower. Each
woman was treated and released later in the day. The scene began with HC players unable to shower at proper facilities prior
to engaging in evening air travel plans. Lamonica wowed the ladies as he lathered his sand-covered frame, rinsed, and then
wheeled his luggage to the men’s room to change into something more comfortable. Nearby, a man dressed as a pirate spotted
Lamonica and said, “Damn tourists. Arrgghh!”
C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
HEADS TWIST AS EXOTIC DANCER
GETS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT
Twist Nightclub, a participating sponsor in the 2006
Miami Open, hosted a player party on Friday night which included pool playing, numerous drinks, and dare we say, even a little
skin. The skin, though, was attached to a male exotic dancer who had fled his stage and retreated to the pool room, where
only Greg Lamonica and Mark Stapp were focused very intently on the pool table and nothing but the pool table. There was a
momentary distraction when the dancer appeared to, uh, rearrange the currency in his pants. It’s safe to say that Greg
likely missed the ensuing shot. File under: Two balls in the corner pocket.
Kudos to Twist for acknowledging the HC over their P.A.
system, welcoming guests from Milwaukee and Chicago
in the “entertainment” room.
C O M P
L E T E C O V E R A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O
P E N
CHINO, PLAYERS STUNNED AS
LUCY IS EXPOSED!
She seemed innocent enough on Saturday night, but by Sunday
morning it became clear: Lucy is a member of the sorority of paparazzi. As play continued on HC center court, Chino slumped to the ground after a physical, diving play. Running onto the court, Lucy thrust
a camera into his face, snapping photographs sure to turn up in some supermarket rag. She repeated the same activity later
on when Darryl dove for a ball, adding insult to injury by saying, “You’re not hurt, are you?” When he said
no, she started snapping photos. Sick and twisted.
C O M P L E T E C O V E R
A G E : 2 0 0 6 M I A M I O P E N
SOUNDS OF THE CIRCUIT:
TOP FIVE QUOTES AT SOUTH BEACH
5. “I’d do her for an hour, but… let me finish!”
One had to wonder about Chino’s peripheral vision when he was talking gibberish about women while seated outside
the Van Dyke Café on Saturday night. With Lucy immediately to his right, he preached with reckless abandon about his “natural”
carnal instincts, particularly in reference to female passers-by. Clearly he did not realize Lucy was next to him. Or perhaps
he did. That is the wonder of Chino. For more on this quote,
you might also reference the phrase “simultaneous rolling of eyes.”
4. “Last night you were probably the only two straight guys in there.”
“Um, don’t you mean three?”
While strolling Lincoln Road Mall on a ridiculously comfortable
Saturday night, the question was posed to Darryl with regards to gay bars. Having played pool in the side room of Twist nightclub,
Mark asked, “How many straight guys really spend time hanging out in gay bars?” Darryl’s reply: “Very
few. I’d say you were the only two straight guys in there last night.” The words had barely escaped Darryl’s
mouth when Gunnar proclaimed, “Uh, don’t you mean three?!?”
3. “Can I get some water?”
If we learned one thing about Greg this weekend, we learned
that his appreciation of wine far exceeds his appreciation for glassware. Having made numerous requests for a water refill
during dinner at The Forge (including one that refilled every other glass but his), Greg held his water glass by the stem
and gently tapped it atop the table saying, “Geez, can I get some water?” Somehow, Greg’s bulbous finger
muscles caused the stem to break and the glass to fall into pieces on the table. It was an honest accident until he recounted
the events to others at the table – using another water glass – which he subsequently broke in the exact same
manner.
2. “You must really be old.”
The Quiksilver store sells surf clothes and accessories
along Washington Avenue, a perfect destination for
those partaking in the local lifestyle. As Greg, Gunnar, and Darryl perused the selection, Greg struck up a passing conversation
with a young female employee who was folding shirts in the store. “I haven’t been to Miami in a long time. Last time I was here was Spring Break, about 20 years ago.” The
girl took only a moment to process his remarks, and replied in a plain and truthful manner, “Wow, you must really be old.”
1. “Yes.”
It’s fair to say that by the time you read this,
Mark will be hospitalized. His diatribe about serving as the man in his courtship with the Vivacious Viviann were lengthy
and detailed, and Mark insisted that at the end of the day he ran the show, drove the bus, carved the turkey, rocked the casbah,
and that Viviann was the supporting actress to his lead actor. “I wear the pants in the relationship,” he said
over and over. When asked via mobile text technology about the validity of his claim, if he truly wears the pants, Viviann
replied, “Yes.” It was a sure, single-worded sign that Mark was a dead man.
BEYOND THE POSTS All the scoop from South Beach!
It took until the final day, but it was well worth the wait, and wait, and wait. While not able to over shadow the brutal
head butt of a day prior, Gunnar Stapp finally received a serve in the manner that made him infamous. His Sunday morning sky-high
pass extended well above the palm trees and, according to some bystanders, higher than the buildings along Ocean Drive. The ball is still in play and will be available for setting when the Circuit
returns in 2007… We don’t know which of their friends left town and moved to Michigan,
but a cluster of nice young ladies from New York paralleled
the HC schedule all weekend on Court 2. The endless flirting and darting smiles continued throughout the three-day event…
Kudos to Dylan Hogan for partaking in a HC conference call on Friday evening from the Spire Bar, and Jack B. Vu for checking
in at the player’s tent via telephone as well… Weekend passes for the 2006 Miami Open were sold out by late Sunday
evening… Please disregard any email media files which seem to depict HC competitor Darryl Nash dancing outside a Johnny
Rocket’s during Sunday’s rain delay. The video has been digitally altered, and surely it cannot be him…
The Viscay Hotel was officially removed from the participating sponsor list after Kip Henry had a minor fist fight with their
concierge on Sunday afternoon.
FOR MORE COVERAGE OF THE 2006 MIAMI OPEN
Check out the HC web site later this week!
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